Dealing With Heartbreaks
Crushing grief, anguish, or distress.
The shame and anguish of a heartbreak has to be one of the worst experiences in life however once you encounter true love; the scars of yesterday will only be but a fragment of what was.
This has to be one of the most uncomfortable seasons in life; But even the worst pain fades, even the saltiest tears dry so why should you stay in that moment?
I am a strong believer of living in the moment however I also accept as true that not every moment is worth living in; heartbreaks are such.
Like many people, I know exactly how it feels to go through an awful heartbreak (I’m not talking about bubble gum love fizzled out… No honey I’m talking about… “Burst the windows out your car!” type of heartbreak). I have had my share of pain one too many times and yes, it is draining but that hurt definitely doesn’t mark the end of you.
Of all my heartbreak one comes to mind; I remember it like it was yesterday. I had invested so much of myself that when it was over I could barely believe it.
Let me break it down for you
It felt as though my heart was rashly ripped out of my rib cage. I was so broken, just a mess. I strongly believe my mother thought I would commit suicide; there were times that thought leaped through my mind. I was in so much pain I just wanted something to end it. I wanted the pain to go away so I would succumb to the bottle to just temporarily numb the pain. I was mad at him; I was mad at God but mostly mad at myself.
There were days I cried so hard that I could feel it in my belly; some nights, my spirit wept as I slept. How do i know know this you ask? Well, I would wake up with bags under my eyes and my dear friend Njeri would later tell me how I cried that night in my sleep. It was such a dark period in my life… The pain was so unbearable that I considered going back to the life I once knew. I did not to want to feel anymore. I was not going to get hurt again because that pain was agonizing.
“Don’t cry over someone who wouldn’t cry over you.”
“Don’t cry over someone who wouldn’t cry over you.” I said to myself but that did not take the pain away neither did the two or so glasses of wine. After the long wrestle I had with myself I gave in to the pain and admitted that I really was hurt. I cried through it and accepted the support system that was in place.
I took my tiny feet and went on my knees and said, “God, I was hurt, I am angry and disappointed. I feel like I cannot trust you because I trusted you before and look what happened. I do not trust you with my heart.”
Healing is a journey Muffins, dealing with heartbreak isn’t easy but it sure can be dealt with. If you are in such a situation right now just know that you will get through this. Here are a few tips on how I made my way through it.
Cry if you have to, scream if you have to! Do what you need to get through those emotions.
Yes, it is painful and embarrassing. Mine was very public, I felt like I was walking in a coat of shame. When I looked at people I could see the pity. I could see the judgment in some eyes and that resulted in me walking with my head down- I gave up!
It has happened, it is fine…. Feel the pain; cry if you have to, scream if you have to, tell God how you feel about it if you have to but don’t be deceived that liquor or a random sex-aped (hook-up)/ rebound will do anything other than hurt you even more.
If you have numerous responsibilities take time off. You can’t function when you are broken. Acting like you have it all together will not make the situation any better. Take a week off, cut down on social plots with acquaintances etc. You have been wounded; you need to get yourself together. Guess what? That’s okay.
Have a support system
I was surrounded by my closest friend’s one of them being my fellow blogger That Girl Koki. It’s a hard time to be alone… I remember times when we would be seated on my bed laughing and randomly I would break into tears. It was not only hard for me but hard for them too. Their presence made it easier for me to grieve knowing I’m not alone. After a break up you already feel alone so having one or two people to hold on to isn’t so bad.
Lastly be open to change, let hope grow and blossom back into your heart. As you heal the transition may be uncomfortable but you will get through it.
I was extremely protective of my heart; I had issues with physical contact but that slowly died out as I healed. My heart grew fuller and so did my hope. As a result, I ended up with such an amazing man and the pain of yesterday was only but a memory of what was.
You are worth more than your current circumstance. You will heal!!!