This Was 2019
If someone told me that I would endure what I did this year, I would have said to them, “You-lying! I don’t think I can handle none of that.”
2019 started out just like every other year, but this year, I wanted to do so much more. I planned to have seasonal fashion shoots, to re-launch my YouTube channel and Baking business.
I had blog topics lined up to encourage, empower and help us build our visions.
I walked into the year starry-eyed and full of joy and vigour, but that was short-lived.
For the most part, I was buried deep in work leaving me with crazy work hours and a backlog of fatigue.
The rest of the time was eaten up by church stuff and marriage responsibilities.
Life took such an unexpected turn, and before no time, I slowly watch myself wither away. As things got busier and free time got less scarce, I slowly watched my joy fade as I quickly checked into the get-things-done mode.
With the horrible hours, lousy diet and fatigue came the medical bills; I was barely holding on to hope when I was diagnosed with depression. Depressed? Me? No! But that feeling was oh too familiar; the desire to just be withdrawn, the desire to sleep all day and night. I felt that feeling before, could it be true? But how?
“What do you like doing? For fun? Just you?”
As I replayed my doctors question over and over again, I couldn’t help but feel a warm tear kiss my face. With that tender kiss, the floodgates flew wide open, and I squealed, “I don’t know any more.” And after a hearty cry, my homework was to take some time off & rediscover myself and rediscover I did.
As the month went by I noticed that I was getting sicker and sicker and my cramps got worse. Until finally, I had enough, and it was back to the hospital for me. The long and short of it, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which is a hormonal disorder causing enlarged ovaries and cysts growing around them. I got to learn it’s more than just that; I found out that PCOS is one of those conditions that affect a whole lot of things hence making sense of my previous health results. Will talk about this in a later post.
It felt like a year with a lot of waterworks, loss and numerous instances of almost dropping the ball. Roller coaster right? Well, we made it through, and boy am I glad.
It wasn’t all gloomy and grinchy though. I got to watch my best friend marry the love of her life, my friend gave birth to the cutes human being (such a champ), danced in my other friends’ wedding and even got some awesome photos to show for it.
I decided to smile more and see the best in life.
I decided to hope and breathe again.
I’m thrilled that the New Year is here and hopeful to see the good tidings that will come with it.
Keep an eye out for more health, life, Christianity and future fun projects.
See you soon